Sunday, January 8, 2012

Wounds-plain as day, camouflage our hidden wounds

Wounds affect us- we know this. But reactions to our wounds by others also affect us. And to no one's surprise,  the wounds that can be seen, studied, observed are never beyond question. We have been hurt and we have evidence. Look at the blood. The fracture, the broken bone. 

Acknowledgement of my pain  by others makes it easier (sometimes) to persevere. They understand-a spoken word, or look reassures of this. We are more confident in their acceptance. We are buoyed we are not alone in our pain, our temporary bout with physical challenge can more quickly be addressed when we have others' empathy.

On the other hand our hidden wounds that lurk inside us can rarely be detected by others. We look exactly the same, we are not noticeably different, yet our behaviors,  quickly  affected by our mood can undergo dramatic changes that are not understandable or decipherable to others.

'Snap out of it' , 'Get over it' or  equally impossible commands might be thrown at us when we confuse people by not providing the 'tangible' evidence at any given point in time.  Yet we know that forces that are difficult to control do not obey the wishes of loved ones, co-workers. or neighbors.

But now, besides navigating our own emotional landscapes, we must concern ourselves with the judgement or scorn of others. We do not live our lives for others, but we cannot completely ignore how others respond to us No wonder, we sometime feel particularly vulnerable when we are challenged with life's curve-balls and boomerangs. 

Or course our emotional hurts must be addressed or face  the peril of getting worse. And often in our society they are faced  completely alone without understanding or support from others.